Dear Me,
You are 41.
Who have you become?
What have you gained or left behind?
What have you learnt or unlearnt?
Where are you now?
A lot hasn't been said or written in many years
Perhaps the demands of motherhood
took away the self you ever knew
Days you've spent toiling
worrying
carrying
everybody else's weight
except your own
I know you fought
Damn hard you did
This body you now carry
tells a tale of determination
Those fitness classes you teach
Dance classes you kept
Pilates courses you took
You fought to keep a part
all to yourself
I'm damn proud you did
Atlas,
for all that you have given
much more may be taken
when a marriage finally ends--
the stakes are higher now
Did you cry?
Did you crumble?
Did you despair?
Did your self break into million pieces?
Yes, it did
But, you don’t surrender.
You are still here
still breathing
still choosing
still alive
You are 41
This voice
This self
You can get it back
Now go.
Go get her back.
Love, me.